“My eyes don’t shed tears, but, boy, they bawl”
-Frank Ocean
Frank Ocean shocked many fans on Independence after revealing his first love being a man. This raises the question: Who was Ocean thinking about on his hit “Thinking About You?”
Listening to the song’s lyrics will decode an answer. On the song, Ocean sang, “My eyes don’t shed tears, but, boy, they bawl.”
Referring to Ocean’s letter he posted on Tumblr, the singer revealed his first love affair was with a man. On his song, Ocean sang, “And though you were my first time, a new feel.”
Ocean’s debut album Channel Orange will feature several songs directed towards men. One of his songs “Forest Gump” contains such lyrics.
On the song, he sings, “My fingertips and my lips, they burn from the cigarettes, Forrest Gump/You run my mind, boy/ Running ’round my mind, boy/ Forrest Gump. I remember you/ This is love, know it’s true/ I won’t forget you.”
Ocean’s debut album drops in stores on July 17.
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Read Ocean’s Open Letter Below:
Whoever you are, where ever you are, I’m starting to think we’re a lot alike. Human beings spinning on blackness. All wanting to be seen, touched, heard, paid attention to. My loved ones are everything to me here. In the last year or three, I’ve screamed at my creator, screamed at clouds in the sky for some explanation. Mercy maybe. For peace of mind to rain like Manna somehow.
Four summers ago, I met somebody. I was 19 years old; he was too. We spent that summer, and the summer after, together. Everyday almost. And on the days we were together, time would glide. Most of the day I’d see him and his smile. I’d hear his conversation and his silence until it was time to sleep. Sleep I would often share with him. By the time I realized I was in love, it was malignant. It was hopeless. It was no escaping, no negotiating with the feelings. No choice. It was my first love. It changed my life.
Back then, my mind would wander to the women I had been with, the ones I cared for and thought I was in love with. I reminisced about the sentimental songs I enjoyed when I was a teenager. The ones I played when I experienced a girlfriend for the first time. I realized they were written in a language I did not yet speak. I realized too much too quickly. Imagine being thrown from a plane. I wasn’t in a plane though. I was in a Nissan Maxima, the same car I packed up with bags and drove to Los Angeles in.
I sat there and told my friend how I felt. I wept as the words left my mouth. I grieved for them, knowing I could never take them back for myself. He patted my back. He said kind things. He did his best. But he wouldn’t admit the same.
He had to go back inside soon. It was late and his girlfriend was waiting for him upstairs. He wouldn’t tell me the truth about his feelings for me for another three years. I felt like I only imagined reciprocity for years. Now imagine being thrown from a cliff. No, I wasn’t on a cliff. I was still in my car telling myself it was gonna be fine and to take deep breaths. I took the breaths and carried on. I kept up a peculiar friendship with him because I couldn’t imagine keeping up my life without him. I struggled to master myself and my emotions. I wasn’t always successful.
The dance went on…I kept the rhythm for several summers after. It’s winter now. I’m typing this on a plane back to Los Angeles from New Orleans. I flew home for another marred Christmas. I have a window seat. It’s December 27th, 2011. By now I’ve written two albums. This being the second. I wrote to keep myself busy and sane. I wanted to created worlds that were rosier than mine. I tried to channel overwhelming emotions. I’m surprised at how far all of it has taken me.
Before writing this, I told some people my story. I’m sure these people kept me alive, kept me safe…sincerely, these are the folks I want to thank from the floor of my heart. Everyone of you knows who you are….
Great humans, probably angels. I don’t know what happens now, and that’s alright.
I don’t have any secrets I need kept anymore. There’s probably some small shit still, but you know what I mean. I was never alone, as much as I felt like it. As much as I still do sometimes. I never was. I don’t think I ever could be. Thanks.
To my first love, I’m grateful for you. Grateful that even though it wasn’t what I hoped for and even though it was never enough, it was. Some things never are…and we were. I won’t forget you. I won’t forget the summer. I’ll remember who I was when I met you. I’ll remember who you were and how we’ve both changed and stayed the same. I’ve never had more respect for life and living than I have right now.
Maybe it takes a near death experience to feel alive. Thanks.
To my mother, you raised me strong. I know I’m only brave because you were first, so thank you! All of you, for everything good. I feel like a free man. If I listen closely, I can hear the sky falling too.
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Listen to Thinking About You
what’s wrong this guy. is he alright?
this nigga must’ve been high as fuck when he wrote that letter. I didn’t understand a word he was saying. He should have just said, “I’m gay” the end lol
R u okay??
i really don’t like how the music industry is secretly placing gay lyrics in these songs. kids listen to these songs and subconsciously influenced by what they hear. music is dead. thats why I keep the old school music on replay
If you are gay you are gay! It’s not going to make a difference what one guys says in a song! The song is about love not being gay! But stick to your old school! We should be teaching our children tolerance not hate. You must be scared that your kids might be gay!
What pt please point out that a child could or would hear thst tells them that you should be gay??…ill wait
sissie niccas taking over
wow.. interesting..
too much info. should of kept that shit himself lol
You didnt have too read it
Just HORRIBLE
i can’t listen to that nomore
All you people make me sick. For once, we have someone who is creating real music. Music that speaks to him, and speaks to our generation. It’s not music that he’s forced to write or forced to spew out like all of these horrible “musicians” on the radio. I thank Frank for standing up and being true to he is. Grow up people, this is 1900.. We live in a new world of acceptance… Open your minds!
Thanks “WOW”. Just remember these days there is still a quarter of people who will always be sociall retarded & resist acceptance no matter what rational people do to educate them. Just remember, Tyler the Creator even applauded him for coming out & being true to himself. Never mind what these people say, stay real, stay up & do your best to represent the movement toward universal acceptance. Thanks for being you, & thank you Grank Ocean for having the courage to be yourself as well!
C.
I thought tyler the creator was homophobic though?
eww
I love this song! Who cares what his sexual orientation is the song is beautiful!
ur gay
I’m not gay I’m a straight female! I’m just not close minded and I don’t judge others! I am not god so I have no right to judge!
Yea I don’t have anything against Frank Ocean. I think he is a talented artist, but I can’t relate to his music because he doesn’t feel the same way I feel about women. I am a straight male and I love women 100% not 50% or 99% but fully 100%. He is clearly singing about a male in this song if you listen to the lyrics closely. I don’t like being deceived by music. These are my reasons for not listening to his music but to each its own. I do wish him much success in his career.
If you think you are being deceived by his music you don’t listen to the words close enough. It’s pretty clear what he’s saying. It just involves a little more decoding than most music.
omg this song is about a man o_O
I always wondered why he said, “boy they bawl.” He sounds very confused to me. I can’t listen to his music sanely anymore. Maybe because I have a son and if he ever turned or to be gay I would best the gay out of him!..literally speaking.
Typo…if he ever turned out to be gay I would beat the gay out of him
and he would like it.
u r a fool
Whatever happened to sin
U r really stupid then ya son would b gay n not tell you thisiis why most gay people dont come out because of people like you just stupid say anything. Im not gay but now i see people are just yung n dumb minded
I’m looking at the comments, and it’s really makin me sad how stupid sone people are. If you ‘didn’t understand what he was saying’ you need to retake those english classes, cause it was pretty clear. I don’t really have an opinion on gay people, but it’s clear this dude is intelligent. It might do some people good to get on his level.
*some
It doesn’t matter if he sings about a guy, or a girl, its not like he is telling people to be gay. Lyrically it doesn’t change him, he was that person before he revealed his first love was a guy, and now everyone is hating on him for it? It shows how judgmental the world really is. If your worried about your child becoming gay from this, maybe you should watch what your child listens too. Its not like frank ocean is yelling out, hey kids listen to this so you can be gay! People are dumb! Only god can judge! Remember that people! i love you frank ocean keep doin you!
Ok the song is beautiful and play it all the time. I have kids and they hear the song and im sure when my son listen too this song a man dont come too thought. I will continue, too listen too the song. People irk me if you dont like the song because its bout a man dont listen too it. Did you forget katty perry made a song about kissing a girl everybody was on it smh terriable!!
Ok the song is beautiful and play it all the time. I have kids and they hear the song and im sure when my son listen too this song a man dont come too thought. I will continue, too listen too the song. People irk me if you dont like the song because its bout a man dont listen too it. Did you forget katty perry made a song about kissing a girl everybody was on it smh terriable!!
U peaple dat are against Frank Ocean you might as well go 2 hell n by da way he did not ask 4 your love n simphathy don’t judge him because ya:ll r no saints either stop being close minded